Sarah Palin's Mysterious Followers

What type of person could honestly support Sarah Palin?

This is a question I have wondered for a long time.

I’m not against the lady simply because I disagree with her. There are plenty of people I disagree with and that alone is not enough to spur feelings of dislike within me.

Honestly, in today’s society of argument by sound bite and party platforms that seem controlled by marketing teams rather than people with true values and beliefs, I highly respect someone who has taken the time to think about the world, analyze it, and make opinions about it that they can actually back up with coherent arguments. It’s refreshing.

Let’s just save ourselves a lot of needless explanation and say straight up that Sarah Palin is, more or less, the exact opposite of such a politician. 

She is nothing but marketing. She is nothing but sound bites and appeals to the lowest common denominator. She is a celebrity politician, all style and no substance, made into some sort of spectacle by the Republican party because, well, I’m not really sure why.  Maybe they just couldn’t find anybody better.

But this isn’t about Sarah Palin. This phenomenon of Americans becoming obsessed with some vapid halfwit is hardly a first in our history. 

No, the real curiosity here is the people themselves. What does it take for a person to see Sarah Palin bumbling her way through a speech on television and exclaim, “That’s the gal for me, by jove”?

The answer has long escaped me.

I have longed to catch a glimpse of this elusive creature, this poor soul who has been so ensnared by the marketing machine that he has become completely detached from reality. 

Well, thanks to YouTube, I have finally found what I have been looking for. The true Palin supporter. The true, unthinking Republican. The unyielding ‘Merkin. 

Damn you, YouTube. Damn you to hell.

The creature is far more frightening than I had imagined in my worst nightmares. I’ve never been one to have a particularly high opinion of the ‘Merkin people, but I guess seeing for myself how low we really have sunk is far more terrifying than simply pondering it.

These people represent absolutely everything that’s wrong with American politics today. Hell, probably everything that’s wrong with America today. 

These are the type of people that go to a book signing for a person who can barely even speak coherently in public, much less write worth a damn, without any idea whatsoever of the important bits of what she actually stands for, yet not think twice about blabbering on in front of a camera as to why she’s the greatest human that has ever lived. My guess is that actually reading the book they purchase is fairly low on their priority list as well. One or two might have needed the concept of “book” explained to them beforehand.

Their ignorance is beyond description. Truly staggering. Seriously. I’m not even going to try. It’s not worth it.

I know there’s a video embedded below, but I’m not going to tell you to watch it to see for yourself. I don’t want that on my conscience. If you press that play button, it’s all on you. Mark my words though: the ignorance contained therein might just blow your mind and turn you into a bitter husk of a human being that can never look another American in the face again without inducing a violent gag reflex.

You have been warned. 

Concentrated Dose of Stupid

I almost can't find the words to introduce this video clip.  This is one of the most concentrated doses of stupid I have ever encountered in my many years on the Internet.

I warn you now, that is not an exaggeration.

Watch it (as long as you're in a place where loud, riotous laughter is perfectly acceptable), take it in, and feel your heart turn cold with sadness while you almost die from laughter at the same time.

Truly, this is an epic level of stupid that we can all hope will never be reached again.

But lo, while it is here, it is joyous.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.