Search
Twitter Feed

Entries in games (12)

Monday
May032010

Movies Can Never Be Art - So Says Me

Author's note: If you read more than a couple lines of this and don't realize I'm being facetious, then please go away. This article is a deliberate parody wherein I try my damndest to sound and monumentally stupid as I think Roger Ebert does in his blog post where he argues that games can never be art. No, I'm not going to link to his article because he's a closed-minded, out-of-touch hack that doesn't deserve the meager traffic I wouldn't send his way because no one reads this website.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that I’m vastly more intelligent than everyone else I’ve ever met. 

I mean, obviously. 

So it stands to reason that my opinion is the only one that actually matters. You’re welcome to consider it pretty much the textbook that defines our world. I highly encourage you to compare your own opinions to mine and see where you’re wrong. There are bound to be plenty of areas in which your opinion needs correcting, and nobody wants you to look like a misguided fool by showing the public that you disagree with me.

Maybe I should provide a handy checklist.

Nah, that would probably take too long.

Anyhow, I have recently had an amazing revelation that I knew I just had to share with the world. It has changed the way I view both art and entertainment. It has altered how I perceive the world around me. It had added an entirely new category onto the list of things which I do not understand and therefore rightfully despise. 

More importantly, it has kept me from having to waste any of my precious time watching those blasted moving picture thingamajigs. Anyone who spends their time watching fake people do fake things in a fake world according to the whim of some poor joke of a “writer”, who probably spends most of his meager salary on brownies and marijuana that he consumes in rabid binges while pretending that he doesn’t need any of that “human contact” that he’s heard so much about, is clearly a moron.

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Jan122010

Best of 2009 - Honorable Mentions, Part Two

And now for the rest of those unfortunate games that just didn't quite cut the mustard. In some alternate universe these could be just as deserving of a slot in the top ten, but for some reason they got left behind. They are grouped here so they can at least get some shot at the recognition they so clearly deserve.

Borderlands

Borderlands nearly ended up in the main list, but was just barely edged out of the last slot by the more original, surprising Silent Hill: Shattered Memories.

Still, to say Borderlands is less original is not to say it is less enjoyable. It doesn’t exactly rewrite the definition of what a modern shooter should be, but it doesn’t really need to. There’s plenty of room on my shelf for games like Borderlands, titles that don’t really try to do anything spectacularly new, but that take established conventions and make them feel fresh and fun. 

At the end of the day, if I’m having fun with a game, isn’t that what matters most? 

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Jan102010

Best of 2009 - Honorable Mentions, Part One

And now for those unfortunate games that just didn't quite cut the mustard. In some alternate universe these could be just as deserving of a slot in the top ten, but for some reason they got left behind. They are grouped here so they can at least get some shot at the recognition they so clearly deserve.

Fallout 3 DLC

The elusive definition of a “good value” in gaming is getting trickier and trickier to define in these times of inevitable downloadable content, dirt cheap iPhone games, and digital distribution that sometimes costs inexplicably as much as a physical product.

I have not lost sight of the fact that the downloadable expansions for Fallout 3 have cost me nearly as much as buying the game new in the first place. This on top of the fact that I paid extra for the Limited/Collector’s/Special/Suckers edition, which is an entirely different maddening variable in the value equation.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Jan072010

Best of 2009 - Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

Putting this list together has truly made me realize what a good year this has been for gaming, which is surprising considering that my reaction otherwise might have been to suggest that 2009 was a mediocre year.

Nowhere was this proliferation of terrific games more obvious, and more troublesome, than when attempting to choose the candidate for this very entry. I reserved it for those games I played only at the tail end of the year. 

The problem was, I was hit with more last-minute awesomeness than I expected. Some truly deserving games were left behind, relegated, perhaps unfairly, to the Honorable Mentions category. 

The other two candidates, New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Borderlands, are both safer choices. I picked both up expecting them to be fun and they were. There were no surprises with either, but they were both quite fun.

But Silent Hill: Shattered Memories ultimately stuck with me the most because, frankly, it surprised me. In a year of sure things, Shattered Memories was an unexpected pleasure; a nice, refreshing dose of unique. 

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Jan052010

Best of 2009 - Street Fighter IV

Some games have gotten recognition from me on this rather insignificant list because of how individually spectacular they are. There was something amazing or addictive or original about many of the games discussed so far that put them on a level above other products released this year.

Street Fighter IV gets the nod for another reason. Sure it’s a terrifically crafted, well-polished game, but the real reason it stood out to me in 2009 is because it marked the first time any fighting game other than my beloved Soulcalibur series had ever managed to truly hook me.

That’s quite an accomplishment.

Click to read more ...